From the Mouth of Babes

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Even when we think they’re not paying attention—children see and observe what we say and do and interpret it in their own way—sometimes with deep insight and sometimes with a interesting twist. The following contributions were made by grand daughters ages 6 and 7.

 

Mommy’s are special because…
“They are mommies”
“They have kids”
“They help us to be “borned”
“They home school”
“They make breakfast, lunch and dinner”

The strangest thing my mommy did is…
“Put beans in my taco—yuck! But I still ate it”
“Told me to wait a minute—then it wasn’t a minute!”
“Told the doctor I had a Red Eye”

The funniest thing my mommy did is…
“Drove the car in circles when we were lost”
“The cat jumped down next to her from the window sill and she jumped too”
“Lost her keys and we found them in the laundry basket”

One time when we were camping…
“Mommy burned the chicken—but it was not the live one”
“Mommy gave the dog his food in the cat bowl”

The funniest thing my mommy said is…
“That I’m going to name a dinosaur – Mommysaures!”
“Called my cat Its instead of Mitts”

Every Mom Is Special! Happy Mother’s Day To All Of You!

Rejoice!

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Pursue peace and seek joy,
Delight in the simple things in life.

Do it as often as possible—
As much as you can,
For as long as you’re able.

Embrace healing.
Reclaim your purpose.
Rejoice!

To read and download articles on Healing From Loss please visit my website.  www.grief-recovery.org

Death is But a Door

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The following poem by Mel Menzies is about loss at any age of life from miscarriage/new born, through childhood, parenthood, or old age.

“If I leave you with the sunrise
When I’ve scarcely drawn a breath,
When the cord that still connects us
brings not life, but only death;

When your labours leave you fruitless
And your heart is feeling sore,
Will you mourn me – but remembering
That death is but a door.

I may stay a little longer
‘Til the sun has climbed the sky,
When you’ve answered all my questions
But I keep on asking Why?
And you’ve read me all the stories
But I go on wanting more;
Will you mourn me – but remembering
That death is but a door.

You may lose me when I’m adult
And the sun is high at noon;
When I’ve given you a grandchild,
And my leaving is too soon;
Will you teach my child to love me?
Let her know what I stood for?
So she’ll mourn me – but remembering
That death is but a door.

It may be that I shall tarry
‘Til the sun sinks into dusk,
When my body’s bent and withered
Like dried wheat within the husk,
And I’m left with only memories –
Since you have gone before,
Then I’ll mourn you – but remembering
That LIFE is but a door.”

© Mel Menzies, April 2008

Mel is the author of eight books, one a Sunday Times No. 4 Bestseller. She is also an experienced Speaker and has addressed live audiences of between 20 and 700+ in addition to participating in TV and Radio chat shows. Her books may be purchased online from her website, Amazon, or Booklocker ALL profits from book sales are for charity.

 

What Can I Do To Help?

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The pain that we feel when we loose a loved one as a result of death or divorce affects each of us differently. It’s a deeply personal experience that we interpret through our unique view of the world and our lived experiences. Many factors including our personality, beliefs, culture and our relationship with the person we lost will determine how we grieve. The range of emotions that we feel can include: denial, anger, fear, hurt, depression, guilt, etc. Our emotions may vary in intensity as well as the manner in which we express them.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve nor is there a prescribed length of time. Some people may grieve for weeks, months or even years before they’re ready to move forward and embrace life again.

Allowing the grieving person room to find their own way toward healing while at the same time providing support is a wonderful thing. Caring can be expressed in many ways. The following are a few suggestions.

  • Send a card with a handwritten note
  • Call them on a regular basis
  • Listen without censoring or judging
  • Invite them to dinner at your home
  • Encourage them to attend a grief support group
  • Offer to attend the first meeting with them
  • Give them a grief recovery book if they’re not ready to join a group.
  • Ask them what they need help with

There are many other ways that you can help–let your heart lead the way. The important thing is to stay in touch and follow through with your offer to help.

To read and download additional articles on Healing From Loss please visit my website.  www.grief-recovery.org

Jesus’ Passionate Plea

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Being one with the Father should be our greatest desire and separation from Him our biggest dread. 

When Jesus prayed at the Garden of Gethsemane “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).  It wasn’t the suffering that Jesus was seeking to avoid but rather total separation from the Father and the Holy Trinity.

While Jesus was on earth, He was not all knowing. He had willingly and temporarily set His divinity aside (Phil 2:7). At the Garden Of Gethsemane Jesus is asking the Father if He can, within the existence of His perfect will, create a way for Him to avoid the cross. Jesus isn’t asking for the Father to make it happen but rather if God desires it as part of His holy plan. Please note that Jesus makes it clear that He is willing to accept the Father’s will over His own request.

While the physical and emotional torment and agony of the cross and all that lead to it was in itself horrific beyond description, the most vile and despicable part was annihilation from fellowship with the Father as is evidenced by Jesus’ rending cry while He hung on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you utterly forsaken me!” (Mark 15:34) It’s no wonder that Jesus asked if there was another way for God to fulfill His plan of salvation.

To download FREE articles on healing from loss, please visit my website: www.grief-recovery-org.

 

Why Does it Hurt so Much?

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No other loss, however significant, impacts us as profoundly as does the loss of a loved one. The range of emotions that we experience can include: denial, anger, fear, hurt, depression, guilt, etc. The emotions may vary in intensity as well as the manner in which we choose to express them. Many factors including our personality, beliefs, culture and our relationship with the person we lost will determine how we grieve. However, experiencing intense feelings as a result of our loss is normal. It’s important that we acknowledge and release, rather than deny and suppress them.

Because grieving is a deeply personal experience, there’s no right or wrong way to express our sorrow nor is there a prescribed length of time when grieving should end. Some people may grieve for weeks, months or even years before they’re ready to move forward and embrace life again. Oftentimes, emotions that were present at an earlier stage may reappear especially during anniversaries or holidays. Nevertheless, those moments of regression that seem to deny our progress toward wellness, are actually signals that more work needs to be done at that particular stage.

Reaching the point of accepting the loss and moving forward can create anxiety for many people. They assume that letting go means forgetting the person and denying that the relationship ever existed. Nothing could be further from the truth. Letting go means releasing the sorrow but cherishing the memories you shared together and recalling the joy that each of you brought to the relationship. The loss of a loved one turns our life upside down. Our world as we knew it has changed and those changes require that we in turn adjust to a new “normal.”

While it’s important that we give ourselves permission to grieve and mourn, it’s equally important that we give ourselves permission to accept healing and to move forward with renewed hope and purpose.

To download FREE articles on healing from loss, please visit my website: www.grief-recovery-org.

Out of God’s Way

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“…My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Cor 12:9 ESV)

How quickly we resort to self-pity when our best intentions are thwarted; our acts of charity are misunderstood or our heroic efforts go unnoticed. We want the world to be a better place and—in our arrogance—set out to rearrange it to fit our “image.”  Forgetting that God is the only Power that can affect true and lasting change, we try again and again while the situation gets worse and worse.

When we acknowledge our weakness and move aside God is able to manifest His power and reveals His magnificence through us.

Please visit my website: www.grief-recovery-org to download FREE articles on healing.

Letting Go

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“There are things that we don’t want
to happen but have to accept,
things we don’t want to know
but have to learn,
and people we can’t live without
 but have to let go.”
(Author unknown)

Letting go is…
Trusting:           God to provide strength and guidance.
Releasing:        The person or situation because I choose to do so.
Appreciating:    The time I was given with that person or in that situation.
Remembering: The positive influence that person or situation had in my life.
Recognizing:    That life is full of new beginnings.
Seeking:            New direction for my life.
Fulfilling:           The purpose for which I was created.

Please visit my website: www.grief-recovery.org to download FREE articles on healing.

Am I Really Healing?

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One of the most common symptoms of grieving is depression.  It’s not unusual to experience sadness again and again as we progress through our healing. This may cause many to wonder if they’re sliding backward rather than moving forward. However, we must not allow these times of regression to discourage us but rather see them as evidence that we are indeed healing although we may need to do more work at that particular stage.  Feelings of depression are especially common during holidays and other days that hold special significant such as anniversaries and birthdays. (See posts titled, 16 Tips to Help You Get Through the Holidays While Grieving and Lost Love and Valentine’s Day.)

In order to heal and regain a sense of equilibrium and wellness, we need to accept our loss, choose to let go and move forward in a new direction. Surrounding ourselves with people that are understanding and supportive reminds us that we’re not alone. Attending grief recovery support groups or workshops allows us to connect with others that are experiencing similar emotions and can provide insight and encouragement. Involvement in the community or in a project geared toward helping others serves to take our attention away from ourselves and our pain and gives us a broader perspective.  Several studies support the premise that helping others, even if it means pushing ourselves to do it, benefits the giver as much as it does the recipient.

As we continue healing we’ll experience a lessening of grief and in time the memories associated with the severed relationship will be less painful. In many instances our life will follow a different path—one that we may not have considered if it wasn’t for the loss.  We learn and we grow from the experience and the demands placed upon us—and in so doing we create a new reality.

Life with all its challenges and joys, its peak moments as well as the ordinary and mundane, is a privilege and a gift from God.  And when one considers all the possibilities that come our way, from the miniscule to the majestic, it’s both awesome and humbling.

To download FREE Healing From Loss articles and purchase books on grief recovery please visit www.grief-recovery.org